Working hard to be stupid

Some people really have to get up early to make sure that they're the stupidest one on the block.

In the case I recall, it was some of the angry upper-class spoiled suburban white kids that make up the local Indymedia / Copwatch faction.

For those not familiar with these losers, it's as I've described--a bunch of patchouli-reeking white kids whose parents sent them to college, probably just to get them out of the house, but who skip classes to sit around smoking dope and hating the police.

Now why would a bunch of suburban white kids hate the police, you ask? It's pretty much a combination of resenting any and all authority (because their parents didn't teach them to respect it) and anger because the police keep getting between them and their dope. So they form a group called "copwatch" that has no purpose other than to harass the fine men and women who go out to protect and serve their often thankless communities. They put up websites where they make up lies about police abusing people and they typically find glee in any situation where a police officer is injured or killed...basically they're punks.

Well it wasn't too long ago that some of these little vermin read in the papers that several of our local police agencies were engaging in proactive police work in a couple of public housing complexes that were seeing a serious spike in street crimes. Part of what we were doing was "jump-outs" where we'd roll around four deep in an unmarked car, or six to eight deep in a van until we saw a suspicious person or group and then we'd...well, we'd jump out, stop them, identify everyone, and determine who was and who wasn't supposed to be in the area. This was easy to do and completely legal because the complexes are municipal property and have posted rules barring non-residents from being present unless visiting a resident. Typically we'd wind up searching a lot of people and recovering all sorts of drugs and guns, and we also scooped up quite a few who were either wanted on outstanding warrants or had been previously barred from the complexes. we made tons of arrests and removed a lot of hard-core criminals from these complexes, undoubtedly while deterring others from even coming around. The street crime numbers started to go back down and life was starting to get a little better for the decent non-lawbreaking residents.

And then the Copwatch kids showed up.

When they found out about our jumpouts and other selective enforcement practices (like towing all unregistered cars), they issued a press release stating that they would start patrolling these complexes to protect the "rights" of the citizens that we were harassing. basically they meant to stop us from stopping the criminals, and to hell with the residents that the criminals were preying on. And after announcing plans to show up and start videotaping us and educating citizens as to their rights vis-a-vis the police, they popped up one fine Saturday and started walking around with their video cameras, eagerly anticipating some police misconduct, no doubt.

Well sad to say, we weren't doing any operations at that particular time, so they didn't get to see any police in action. But they did get to see some real crime, because four of them showed up at our station with assorted black eyes and split lips (still reeking of patchouli) and demanding that we--the police that they hate--DO SOMETHING. Apparently the sight of these dopey white kids walking around this all-black housing project with expensive video cameras, watches and cell phones was just too much for the local hoods to ignore, and the Copwatch kids wound up getting beaten and robbed by the very hood rats that they were there to support.

And then they came to US--their sworn enemy and sole target of their harassment campaigns--and demanded that we go back up in there and find the criminals who had their stuff.

Yeah, ok. Just as soon as we finish laughing at you.

Needless to say, we never saw those particular doofy losers up in 'da hood again. I'm betting that mommy and daddy eventually bought them all new electronic toys to replace the ones that they'd "donated to the Urban Way".