Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I made three people cry today.

First there was the woman that I stopped for running a red light who broke down into dry but very dramatic sobs before I even reached her window. She quickly stopped when I told her to show me her license, registration and some maturity. She quit crying and just got angry.

Then there was the driver of a private school's bus, who made an illegal turn across traffic in her small bus filled with other peoples' kids, narrowly avoiding being struck by a garbage truck that had the right-of-way. She cavalierly told me that she wasn't much of a "city driver" and when I pointed out the numerous and highly visible "No Left Turn" signs, she replied: "Well my GPS told me to go that way so I did."

When I returned with her ticket, she began to tear up and proclaimed that this would probably cost her her job. I told her that I wasn't seeing that as such a bad thing. Then she seemed to get mad, just like the last one.

Finally there was the cab driver whose cab was being impounded by the local taxi inspector for numerous safety, paperwork and hygiene violations. HE cried the loudest--and I mean bawling with real tears and even throwing himself on the ground and wailing in some arabic language while beating the grass with his fists. He told me that I would have bad karma forever and asked me if I knew what karma was. I replied that I had heard the song about it by Culture Club back in the 80's just like everyone else. He then ran over and sat down in front of the tow truck and screamed "Just kill me now because I won't let you kidnap my cab!" However he changed his mind and got up quickly just as soon as he saw me take my pepper spray out of it's holster and shake it. Last I saw of him, he was walking towards a bus stop and shouting "God sees this! God will get you!" back at me as he walked. The tow truck driver was nice enough to give him a friendly beep of the horn as he drove past with the cab but even that didn't seem to cheer him up. He threatened to leave America and go back home (wherever that is) and didn't seem the least bit grateful when I wished him a safe and speedy voyage.

Maybe tomorrow I can make someone happy. Just maybe.

Or not.

15 comments:

Beat And Release said...

You made me happy with this post. Does that count?

Tonjia said...

HA! I LOVE your power! seriously, I am an ER RN and I make people cry a lot too, and I have to admit, I do get a little teeny tiny bit of glee from it. once in a while..

Keep up the good work dude! you are keeping the streets safe, thats a good thing

Yellow said...

Sounds like a good day at work to me :)

I feel for the ones who cry. . I cried (after the cop left!) I didn't get a ticket, but I just knew T-rex knew that I got pulled over before I even did, and I didn't really wana face that! LOL

Jackie said...

I love that excuse "My GPS told me to do it" ha! My GPS told me to make a Uturn in the middle of the highway, but I was smart enough NOT!! To listen to it...

Best one of the "My GPS told me to do it" I ever SAW/heard about (ex-fil was the responding Sgt.) was a BRAND NEW RV drove over a bridge that had metal gurters at a clearly marked "2.9m" (Like big giant signs)...

Yup the GPS told him to do it... so he did... Peeled the top of his RV back like a tin can...

And when asked why he didn't stop when he heard the top of his RV being RIPPED off?? "Oh my GPS told me to go straight for another 5km" *head meets desk*

I never did find out if the insurance company paid for the damages or not...

xx
Jaxs

BootedCop said...

That's called a hat trick! Well done Sgt.!!

Ann T. said...

Dear Sgt. Krupke,
Ha ha ha! Made my day. So you made someone happy after all!
Ann T.

Shirrelle said...

you made me laugh with that post anyway!!!

stay safe

Sister Copinherhair said...

That last one is the funniest. When I went on my ride along, I told the officer that I've always found police officers to have a great sense of humor because, let's face it, you'd go crazy if you couldn't laugh about it.

He said the trick is being able to hold back laughter until the subject is out of sight. I KNOW you cracked up the minute you left the scene. ;)

suz said...

I wonder if she said she wasn't much of a city driver, during her interview for that job. Keep those tears flowing...

Sera said...

LOL!! You made me happy! Ha - that's the best!! My hubby comes home w/ stories liek that all the time & I get a good chuckle out of 'em :)

sparkcheck said...

Allah will strike you down!!!

Just kidding.

Mark Bennett said...

Aw, c'mon now, Krupke. You can't possibly count that first one.

Officer "Smith" said...

I'm impressed. I've NEVER had three in one day. Hell, I'm lucky to get three in a week.

burnedoutmedic said...

you are my hero.

the other day i was driving an unmarked city car and coasting towards a red light. some woman in a huge suv was riding my ass before whipping around me into the next lane, because red light means speed up?

anyway, she then knocks the mirror off a stopped bus in the right lane as she passed it. she pulled over. i had to stop and give the driver my number in case she tried to deny it. what a jackass. and get a smaller car if she can't even keep her car in the lane.

so, in conclusion, i really like seeing people get busted for driving like assholes.

Vanilla Chunk said...

This is
MY NEW FAVORITE
(non-screenwriting)
BLOG.

Keep up the good work.